Bride ‘annoyed’ as 3 bridesmaids drop out of hen do – and now she wants to ‘demote’ them

Part of wedding tradition for the bride and groom involves embarking on a hen or stag party with your bridal party or groomsmen, which is often seen as the last big night out before getting married.

But one bride has been left feeling frustrated after half of her six total bridesmaids told her they wouldn’t be attending her upcoming hen do – with one of them not even giving her a reason for her absence.

The woman said she was now considering “demoting” the three bridesmaids back down to regular guests because they won’t be “there for her” on her hen night and is “annoyed” at them for their decision.

In a post on Mumsnet, she said: “I have 6 bridesmaids and have just found out that 3 of them aren’t coming to my hen do.

“One reason is that they don’t drink (but they are ok in drinking situations), another because of the money (yet they go away 3 to 4 times a year and are a blood relative), and the other one hasn’t given a reason but I’ve known her for 20 odd years, and she is going away for another wedding abroad the following month.

“Am I unreasonable for being annoyed? Would you demote bridesmaids for not being there for you or am I overreacting?”

Commenters on the post were split over what advice to give the bride, as some agreed that her bridesmaids were being “shabby” by dropping out of the hen do, especially as it’s traditionally the bridal party that plans the event.

One person wrote: “I think this is very shabby of them. They are supposed to be arranging it, never mind just showing up.”

While another added: “If they’ve been up for it and booked it and then cancelled that is a bit unfair of them, but it’s still within their rights.”

But others said they understood why the bridesmaids would drop out if the hen do is “inconvenient” for them to attend, or if it costs too much under rising costs that families are having to battle.

Someone said: “I think it depends on what your hen do is. If it is costing people a lot (maybe more than say £30 each) then you can’t expect people to pay for that. If they’ve told you nicely they can’t make it then sorry but that’s up to them. I can see why you’re disappointed but ‘demoting’ them is quite childish.”

As someone else stated: “Depends how much the hen do is and how inconvenient it is to attend!”

And a third wrote: “If they were friends enough to be your bridesmaids, they should be friends enough to have genuine reasons. And you should be friendly enough to accept that graciously.

“I get that it’s disappointing, but no, don’t ‘demote’ them, that’s just spiteful.”